If you are deep in the Heated Rivalry universe you are likely ecstatic to see this beloved title in your inbox. If you aren't a fan (yet) you may be wondering what in the heck I am doing talking about a gay hockey show on the Pink Moon Goods blog. I promise I will make it clear. And if you are just not into and maybe even a hater...well I am not going to worry about these folks because they likely did not even open the email!
I entered into watching Heated Rivalry with a certain amount of skepticism. I watched the first two episodes thinking that it was a show just about two men having sex. When I watched episode two I think I started to feel something but the ending really blind sided me and I had to ask my friend April (who recommended the show to me) to confirm for me that this show was going to have a happy ending. I was just not interested in watching a show that ended in tragedy. I watch tv to escape reality so admittedly I want the tv I watch to make me feel good. There is enough tragedy in the world. And frankly enough tragic stories about gay men that I just really wanted to know that this was going to be different.
And oh boy was it ever!
The first thing I want to make clear is the obsession level of my interest. I have watched the show all of the way through at least a handful of times, read three of the series books (including Heated Rivalry which I am now reading for the second time), and I watch a lot of online content. The online content is a lot of Instagram posts and content about the actors, analysis by other viewers or filmmakers, and interviews with the actors, director and author. And most recently I have started to read the book along with watching the show. While this is not abnormal relative to what other devoted viewers are doing it is definitely a new and very different experience for me. There are some books I have read twice, but the second read was years after the first read. The only book I have read more than twice is Pride and Prejudice which I have also watched repeatedly. But that has been over the course of many many years.
When I finished my first viewing of this series I just could not get the show out of my mind. It was waking me up at night. I rapidly started consuming online content and after a few days I just had to sit down and rewatch the last episode which then eventually made me to starting a total rewatch. I would like to say that got it out of my system but instead what happened is that it burrowed somewhere deep inside me and it has not left. Last night for instance I decided before going to sleep that I was going to write my blog today about Heated Rivalry. Wouldn't you know that I slept somewhat restlessly and woke up several times just running over and over the lines, "Will you come to my cottage this summer? Don't go to Russia. Come to my house. We'll have so much fun"....and turning it into a blog title.
There are so many reasons that folks have analyzed why people like myself (the main demographic of fans being women) have fallen for this show. The first viewpoint that I started hearing really spoke to me. This analysis highlights the reality that women don't often get to see romance and sex that doesn't have something to do with them and that a lot of times the sex is portrayed in a way that does not center the woman's pleasure or is done in a way that disrespects the woman. In fact, we are sadly so used to seeing sexual violence perpetrated on women in media, tv, and film and this show gives each of us an opportunity to watch the unbridled pleasure of Shane and Ilya and Kip and Scott from a place of safety and security. I have to say this isn't something I had identified before reading and listening to others discuss this but once Heated Rivalry got under my skin I did stop watching X-Files which does have a lot of storylines that involve violence against women. So it was definitely working something out in my mind.
Not only that but although the story is about men there are four amazing supportive female characters that are the truth sayers. Rachel Reid and Jacob Tierney created these characters to help Ilya, Shane, Scott, and Kip grapple with their experiences and come to terms with their undeniable truths. I don't know about you but I felt that each of these women were speaking on my behalf to the characters. They were saying exactly what I would want to say to each of them and they each did it in a way that was loving and supportive and extremely heartfelt and real.
There is the storytelling aspect of the Heated Rivalry universe that as a viewer and someone who has worked in film and theatre is so compelling. First of all, the books are just perfectly written. They are page turners for sure. But they perfectly capture the struggles of these characters that are so real but also living in this perfect fantasy world where you are just trusting that it's all going to work out for them. But that doesn't mean it's unrealistic. The actors who portrayed Shane and Ilya are damn good at bringing these characters to life which helps you buy into the world. I literally believed every touch, kiss, smile, or moment of anguish. In fact, when I started watching interviews of the actors it was hard for me to not see them as Shane and Ilya. For contrast, I would say that although I am a fan of the Bridgerton universe I often fail to see why the characters are compelled to love one another. Most seasons I just don't always truly believe that they are so into one another that they would traverse the obstacles. But with Shane and Ilya the yearning is palatable and the chemistry is off the charts. I have thought a lot about why this is important to me and I think one reason is that I want to believe that kind of love is available to all of us. When I feel the butterflies in my stomach while watching Ilya and Shane meet at the bar in Florida before the All-star game it brings me right back to those early days with my husband. The emotion is raw and pure when you find yourself falling for someone. I want every one to feel this and Rachel Reid created a world where it does happen for everyone. In spite of the obstacles.
My friend Riko and I have an ongoing conversation about Heated Rivalry and why we like it so much. This is what led me to consider writing this blog today and this is the point in the blog where I am going to explain the first reason that I am writing about it. When I started Pink Moon Goods it was in part due to my personal commitment to surround myself with beauty. I had been working on adding more beauty into my life and I found that the more and more I surrounded myself with beauty the more joy I felt. It's true that things cannot make us happy but in way I have learned that things that we surround ourselves with can in fact affect our mood and when we place our attention on items of beauty it truly can invoke joy! At the end of the day I think the older I get the more I want to feel joy. Makes sense right?
But look around at the world today. Where is the joy? We are living in a time that seems almost impossible to feel joy when everyday we are inundated with the reality that people are having their rights taken away, families are being torn apart, bombs are dropping. Not just in our country but all over the globe. Personally I think Heated Rivalry arrived at a time when I personally really needed to be overtaken by joyful feelings.
Just today as I was writing this I was reminded about the fact that we have politicians working to make voting harder for women under the guise of making voting less corrupt in a system that truly reports very little corruption historically. Some of the people in charge of our country are propping up folks who believe that women are not intelligent enough or reliable enough to vote and they are promoting a system of one vote per family. I believe this is a reaction to the fact that women are in fact gaining more power and stories like Heated Rivalry are my case in point. This show has empowered women all over the globe to embrace joy and in that embracing there is power. There is a shift happening. A truly important shift. When women are empowered the pendulum swings towards progress and that progress is about embracing something that is so genuinely about love and joy. It's something much bigger than a story about two rivals turned into lovers. It is a story about saying enough of hiding who we are. Enough of conforming to what the world has told us we need to be to keep everyone comfortable.
Which brings me to the algorithm lessons. Like most people I am definitely inclined to be consumed by the algorithm and it's incessant attempt to keep me in a state of despair. I know all too well the pitfalls of opening that little cute polaroid app. It sucks you in and before you know it you are convinced that the world is doomed. But here is the thing. The app and the folks behind it work to keep you in that state and "they" want you to believe that you have no control. I literally don't know how many times I have heard folks say that they feel trapped or imprisoned by their feed. They feel they can't get out of it. They are stuck and they can't stop doom scrolling. Let me tell you....is lie. Liar told you that. It took no more than two weeks of seeking out, watching, liking, and sharing Heated Rivalry content on my app before my entire algorithm turned into a Heated Rivalry paradise. My search page is almost all videos of clips from the show and interviews or photo shoots or events with the actors from the show. The doom and gloom went away! It just vanished almost entirely. In it's place is bliss that I can seek out and escape to in the moments that I need it.
I am a big fan of Sharon McMahon, known as Sharonsayso on Instagram. She shared some of her feed yesterday saying that is was immaculate. It was all animals in nature. Whales, penguins, eagles. All pretty, peaceful, and joyful. This lady has a job that involves reporting the news. In fact she just took it upon herself to start reporting the news to people on Instagram and she is really good at it. But even she has figured out how to make her algorithm into something that brings her joy.
All of this is to say: you can actually control what you are being fed by your algorithm. And while yes maybe putting your phone down more is a good goal to have in reality isn't another (and maybe more realistic) goal to just make the phone bring you joy! If you are going to pick it up and stare at it wouldn't it be better to at least be staring at something that gives you that oh so good endorphin rush. Maybe it's not Heated Rivalry (I can't think of a reason it shouldn't be) but there has to be something that gives you that endorphin rush. Figure out what it is and start looking for it. Like it. Comment. Share. Before you know it will take over your feed and it will propel you into a state of joy.
I do understand that me living in a state of joy because of a story about two gay hockey players is not making all of the bad stuff go away. I do still stay caught up on news events but it consumes much less of my time than ever before. Also, the bad stuff doesn't go away because you are paying attention to every horrible thing everyday all day. Furthermore, paying attention to all of the suffering and being consumed by it day in and day out more than likely means that you don't have energy to do something that brings joy into your life and the lives of others.
You deserve to feel the way that Shane and Ilya make one another feel. You deserve to know what it feels like to know that "we are good here, yes." Your people are here and we are okay! Maybe Shane and Ilya don't do it for you and that is okay but for the sake of yourself and those around you find the thing that does make you feel that way. It's okay.
You deserve sunshine my friend. Go after it.