All About Me: The Human Behind the Zakkaya Tsubuyaki Blog

It occurred to me when I shared a picture of myself last week that although I do make mention of my experiences and history I have never done an introduction post or blog. I honestly don’t think I have ever done one on Instagram. So I figured it was about time. So today I will share a little bit about me.

I was born in Lakewood, California and after bopping around there for a few years my family settled in the Orange County area, mainly Anaheim. That is where I spent my childhood/teenage/young adult formative years. Although I don’t think I ever really thought there was too much remarkable about Anaheim, the truth is that when I did start traveling internationally people always knew where I was from because folks all over the world know that Disneyland is in Anaheim. In case you are wondering, yes, my family did visit Disneyland but only once a year. We were not fortunate enough to have yearly passes. Although there were some periods of time as a teenager or young adult that I knew people that worked there so I did experience the privilege of getting in for free a handful of times.

I admit, thinking back on my childhood and my life in Anaheim it all feels somewhat unremarkable to me. My husband when I met him admitted to me that the idea of me being a Cali girl was possibly the most exciting thing ever to him. He clearly was influenced by the imagery Southern California in movies and tv shows which made him completely infatuated with the idea of dating a Cali girl. But for me that was just what I was and I didn’t think it was especially glamorous. As you can see I did have very high bangs which as I write this I am not even sure I could repeat today. Like, how did I even do that? 

I attended a pretty average high school. I was involved heavily in Dance Performance which is something I showed an interest in just simply to avoid having to run the track during Phys Ed class, a theme that repeats throughout my life. I was the first person in my family to attend college and it wasn’t because anyone pushed me. I just really loved learning and it was something I always knew I wanted to do. I attended community college to complete the pre-reqs for Nursing school and planned to transfer to a university but as a commuter who would live with my boyfriend at the time most likely in the East Bay Area.

In my early 20’s as I was planning for this life of stability and certainty two things happened in my life that drastically altered me and my journey: I travelled out of the country and I moved to Humboldt County. The effect that traveling to another country (Australia) had on me was something that led to things going south with my partner at the time. And because of that break-up I got something I never thought in a million years I would get to experience: a full fledged college experience. I moved far away from home, as far away as I could get and still stay in the state of California to get in-state tuition. I still remember the day that the brochure for Humboldt State University arrived in my Anaheim mailbox. I fell in love. The redwoods, the ocean, the beautiful old campus buildings. It was like something out of a dream. Even the person jogging through the woods was appealing even though as I have already shared jogging or running for exercise is like my personal nightmare. Being in the relationship that I was in made it seem impossible at the time but with that obstacle out of the way Humboldt County was calling me!

Some people refer to Humboldt County as the land that time forgot. It feels like the kind of place that stays the same and isn’t really touched or affected by what is happening in the rest of the world. It also embodies a dichotomy that had a profound effect on me: while being a small isolated place with not a ton of diversity it is also the kind of place that exposes you to so many different experiences and walks of life. Maybe it was just my good fortune. But for instance, living in Humboldt County taught me to love ethnic food and can you imagine how surprised I was when I returned for a visit to Anaheim and realized that I had grown up maybe 10 miles from an entire city filled with tons of Vietnamese restaurants. I just had no inclination to even look for something like that until my experiences in Humboldt opened my eyes.

The truth is I could spend one entire blog talking about my experiences in Humboldt County. But obviously, I am not going to do that. Let’s just say that living in this magical place turned everything on its head for me. Everything I thought I knew and was certain I wanted in my life vanished and in its place I slowly built the life I am living today. 

In true Humboldt form, yes I was one of those girls that shaved my head as you can see in this tree of life image that I made a little later in college. This gesture signifies the transformation that I mention above. Also pictured in the center is my first ever herb garden! It would not be until much later that I became what I would consider an avid gardener but living in Humboldt County set the tone for this pattern in my life as well. 

Interesting and fun facts about my college career are that although I started as a Nursing major, it turns out Nursing was not for me. But I will say that being in that program set many things in motion including meeting "my people". This was a small group of women that I bonded with in that first year and despite our different educational paths we remain friends to this day. Their friendships were one of the main sources of general life inspiration for me then as they are now. 

So I switched majors in my second year to an Interdisciplinary Degree in Religious Studies and Women's Studies. I was very interested in studying the pathways of spirituality as it pertained to women's liberation. This was the first time in my life that I was introduced to the idea of Feminist Studies and obviously one of the main sources of my ongoing transformation at the time. Once I finished this degree that did not really lead to any real kind of work I took a year off of college and in that time I attended a theatre production at the college. It was there that I got the hit to study Costume Design and Construction for Theatre & Film. I had always been a seamstress and I was craving doing something with my hands. In fact, even when I was at community college taking primarily science classes I always made time in my schedule for an art class. So it seemed the perfect fit. 

Thinking back on those days makes me realize just how much one moment or decision in each person's life can put in motion so many other experiences. Mainly, I would not have ended up in Dayton were it not for being a theatre artist. Or would I have? Perhaps some other impulse would have brought me here. You just never know. 

After completing my degree in Costuming I did have to make the inevitable move back to Southern California. This was not easy but in some ways things just fell into place and I made it work. I lived in Orange County with my mom while working mostly in LA doing various jobs in film, tv, and theatre. I even worked for the cruise industry for a few years. This is always so interesting to people as it sounds so glamorous. But if you know me just a little you would know that being on a cruise ship is my personal nightmare. However, I admit I did get lots of opportunity to travel and I took advantage of it to the fullest. I really had no choice because if was the one aspect of that job that made it work for me. Without that perk it just would not have been worth the long hours, grueling conditions, and difficult personalities (not least being my own). 

When I met my husband I was 38. I like to share that with especially young people because I think that we all have this idea that we are going to meet our soul mates when we are young and it will fulfill all of our desires and make us whole. When in truth for some people it happens much later in life. And in all honesty, if I had met my husband any earlier I would not have been ready for the kind of relationship that we have been able to cultivate. Funny thing is, my husband really lucked out because he was only 24 when we met! Yes, we are 13(ish) years apart. And I can confidently say that when I was 38 there was only one 24 year old in the world that I would have been compatible with and that was Luke. I shared this picture of me with the shaved head again because I found it sitting on a shelf in my office next to this picture of Luke and it occurred to me that we were the same age in these pics even though they were taken, well, 13 years apart! 

It has been 17 years since I met Luke and although I am still madly in love with him I would never say the road has been easy. In fact it has been fraught with challenges but life is like that no matter who we are spending it with, no? This image of us dancing makes it seem so romantic and while it is quite lovely, it is also still about doing chores, managing day to day life, and needing to continue to strive to be an individual. It surprises me sometimes when Luke leaves town how in anticipation I start to feel the fear of being alone. I spent more of my adult life on my own than I have with Luke and I was never afraid. I have driven across the country by myself several times. I have camped in the woods alone. I have travelled to foreign lands all by myself and all never being afraid. But now if my husband leaves town for just a couple of days I worry about being alone. Thankfully the fear subsides as I return to being on my own. But always I am very happy to see his face come through that door again. 

The truth is that although I know I could survive without him I find life more enjoyable and more productive with him in it. We love traveling and eating yummy food together. But we also love just sitting in the garden at home not saying much to one another. 

Without Luke I would not have this beautiful greenhouse and I would never have been able to create Pink Moon Goods. Which leads me to the book end of my story. How did Pink Moon Goods become a thing!

When Luke and I met we had no intention or desire to get married. We moved in together and eventually bought a house together. We knew we wanted to spend our lives together but we had never really seen a successful marriage. Almost every adult in our lives had experienced at least one marriage ending in divorce so frankly we just didn't really see the point. Until the day we decided why the heck not! It was about nine years into our relationship. Luke had opened his record store and we got hitched a year later.

For our honeymoon we visited New England and this is when the idea for Pink Moon Goods started taking shape. I had helped Luke open his record store so the mystery of how to open a business was cracked. As we travelled through these small New England towns one thing became apparent to me: Dayton needed more retail. And cute retail that offered all of the things I wanted to buy! In almost every town a store existed like the one I wanted to see in Dayton and I started to seriously consider the possibility of making it happen.

The main obstacle for me at this point was my full time job as a costumer. I was working at Sinclair College in the Theatre Department managing the costume shop, teaching, and designing for most of the department productions. I had a generous salary and benefits and was living a pretty good life. Although I was loving the idea of this shop that was manifesting in my head I could not quite imagine the part that allowed me to leave the security of this job I had been doing for 15 years. 

Then Covid hit. This was a such a scary time for so many people and it definitely was for me. But I was fortunate enough to be one of the people that came out on top. Although it was conflict that sort of set the ground work for me to leave that job, which I wish in retrospect had not happened, the conflict was what really pushed me to take the leap. So in Fall 2020 I had my first little pop-up on the sidewalk outside my husband's record shop. I had about four different product lines to offer, a far cry from the probably over 200 vendors I have in stock now. Two years later I left my job at Sinclair and within a month I found the brick and mortar building in Huffman where my shop exists today.

I would like to share that there was about two years between the original idea of my shop and the actual manifestation. The main reason for this wasn't just my job. It was that I really grappled with the idea that I was just going to create a shop that pushed consumerism and I really didn't want it to be meaningless. Once again, just as I helped Luke, he really helped me develop the concept of the shop as a place where practical and beautiful goods that were ethically manufactured were offered. I like to share this because I think that period of uncertainty was necessary for the success of my business. It gave me time to be thoughtful and intentional about what I wanted Pink Moon Goods to be. 

Luke and I are notorious for not taking a lot of pictures together but here is us on the opening day of my shop. I love seeing images of the shop on this day because it really captures just how much we have grown into the space. Two years after I moved in I was very happy when my husband agreed to move his record store into the space across the street. Yes, we eat lunch together everyday. It's very cute. We feel very fortunate to have the opportunity to help this little city that we now call home thrive. We feel valued and respected in our community. We have a good life because people support us following our passion to bring them quality goods. 

We do everything in our power to support local businesses and organizations. We love our life here in Dayton and although when I first met Luke he fantasized about living in California, we are confident that the fate that brought us each here was spot on. I for one would not change it for the world. 

I hear people say all of the time that retail is dead. While it's true that there are fewer small shops then maybe there was a century or even half a century ago, I would like to strongly refute that comment. Mine and Luke's success genuinely contradicts that statement. When done right, retail that offers a community valuable goods with intention is alive and well. 

Thanks for being here, for being curious about my life, and for supporting me and this little shop. It means the world to me.